10-21-08 mandala

i am looking for you everywhere.
i go back to the house where you were just living, and there are all these things that are yours, exactly where they a week ago when you were here. i find a bracelet you were wearing everyday, and it looks so empty to me. the space inside of it where your wrist belongs. i don't know why this small object is what gets me. that empty space feels bigger than the whole room i'm in.

i see it sitting on the table next to the chair that had been your bed. i don't know when it got taken off of you. i put it on my wrist. i'm terrible with jewelry, i pull things off of me without knowing it, but i want to keep this close. it seemed to bring you comfort. when you misplaced it, i ordered you another one. it's a mandala meditation bracelet, smells of cedar. i don't know how you decided on it to wear for the past several months but i don't want it to just sit on this table, looking so empty inside.