losing things

i think i've lost your mandala bracelet. i've been wearing it just about everyday since i found it next to your empty chair. i feel careless. i'm terrible with jewelry, i take things off and set them down without even realizing i am doing so. i like wearing it, even though it pinches me at times and i end up putting it into my pocket.
it makes me think about a talk we had years ago, way before you were sick and i probably thought you would live to be a really old lady.
we had lots of talks about reincarnation and after life and things like this. we were talking one day about ways of communicating from 'the beyond' so we would know the other was still there.
we chatted for a while and came up with that you would help me find things i've lost. this is something you did all the time for me. somehow i would lose something and look for it forever and you'd walk into the room and find it in seconds. even when i wasn't living at home, over the phone you'd have a suggestion for me of where to look and were almost always right.
i can't find this bracelet anywhere. the past few weeks i've been losing everything. i have even tried asking you for your help, hoping an object will just appear in my path and i can feel a little closer to you. none of this has happened. i'm not sure what this means about our agreement, or where you are, or anything. i want so badly to feel connected to you. i don't know where you are and if any of my words or wishes can be heard by you.